So blessed

This morning I have just been overwhelmed with gratitude. We have been so blessed. You always hear that it's when you are in need that you find out who your true friends are. We have so many true friends. So amazing. We have just been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love that we have received.

We have been so blessed over and over again. Sure we have definitely had struggles, but EVERYONE does. If it weren't for the hard times, the sweet times wouldn't seem so sweet.

If it weren't for the wait for Roman we wouldn't have known what a huge blessing he was. We have his Mommy Katie, one of the greatest friends that we could ask for.

Without the struggles we wouldn't appreciate the good times nearly so much.

It's so hard for me to let go and ask for help, especially now that I am physically feeling better, I am so thankful for family and friends who understand that and are helping. It's hard to sit back and watch someone else clean your disgusting toilets, vacuum your floors, do your laundry. I had a friend loan me a fetal Doppler, it has been such a blessing to spend a few quiet minutes with my baby every day. I lay down during Roman's nap time and listen to the little heartbeat that is getting louder every day, I cry almost every time I hear him. I only allow myself one time a day at the most, sometimes if I am too busy or not too stressed I will miss a day, but I miss him when I don't get that few minutes just to know that he is still there and still growing. That's when I know that it's worth everything I am doing, everything.

A few days ago I didn't get a chance to listen during nap time. I was pretty stressed so I just needed to make sure he was still okay. I got Roman settled in front of a movie then I went in to listen, even if he was all over and it was just for a minute it was what I needed. So I got Roman settled, went in and started trying to hear him. Add to the stress I am just not finding his heartbeat. I was getting pretty nervous, I just can't find him anywhere. After quite some time Roman came into my bedroom to see what I was doing. I told him I was just trying to listen to the baby. Just then, like he knew that his brother had walked into the room all of a sudden we heard him. His beautiful heart beating away. I was choking back tears and before I could even tell Roman that was him he said "I heared him. Is he crying?" I told him no, he wasn't crying, that was his heart. He sat in the room with me and listened to the baby until we couldn't hear him anymore, which wasn't long, less then a minute, but it was such a special minute to spend with Roman.

Since that day Roman talks about the baby so much more. He told that we heard him playing with his toys. He asks all the time when the baby is going to come out. I can't wait for Roman to be a big brother. He is going to be the best big brother ever. He is so sweet and already loves this sweet baby. He tells him to be nice to mommy when my tummy hurts, and gives his brother hugs at bedtime already.

I feel so incredibly blessed!