Things I have done . . .

I have been tagged to do this a few times, and have had it come as an e-mail as well. I decided tonight was a good time to do it! The things in BOLD are things I have done. The things that are NOT in bold I have not done. I am not going to tag anyone because well, I have been horrible at tags lately, but if you want to do it, feel free.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped (I have not actually bungee jumped, but I did ride the skycoaster at Lagoon.)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables (We try every year, some years are more sucessful than others)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
t31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (Spencer has, I think 8 times, I might be wrong on the number but he was almost certified, I am too chicken)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (Spencer broke my foot for me once too)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (Does blog to book or picture books count?)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (Sigh, I loved that car!)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Going through that list there are things that I would love to do in my life, but I am happy to say that I have not done many of the things listed.

Ever have one of those nights?

Do you ever have one of those nights where you sit up wondering about EVERYTHING? Literally everything. Tonight is one of those nights for me.

I wonder how I am doing as a parent.
I wonder if I am doing everything I should, should he know his alphabet yet?
Do I teach him enough?
I wonder if I am letting him be independent enough.
I wonder if I am dependable enough.

I wonder how his Mommy Katie is. (worry about her is more like it, we love her so much and just want everything to be perfect for her!)
I wonder about our future birthmother(s).
I wonder if they are okay.
I wonder if they are already struggling with hard decisions in their life.

I wonder why some of us need to be tested to the point that we feel like we are going to break.
I wonder why one person's trial is a blessing for another.
I wonder how many lives that blessing truly blesses (I can't even begin to count how many lives Roman has blessed!).

Obviously I am not the only person who has had a night like this. I think of the song "Just a few Questions" by Clay Walker

How in this world can we put a man on the moon,
And still have a need for a place like St Jude's?
And why is one man born,
In a place where all they know is war?
And a guy like me,
Has always been free.

And how can two people who built a loving home,
Try for years and never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There's a baby no-one's holding tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don't add up.

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

And why did my cousin have to die in that crash?
A good kid, only seventeen, I still wonder about that.
It seems unfair to me,
Some get the chance to chase their dreams,
And some don't.
But what do I know?

I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

Why do I feel like you hear these prayers of mine.
When so many oughta be ahead of me in line?
When you look down on me,
Can you see the good through all the bad?
These just a few questions I have.

How has my life changed since becoming a mom?

We are just working on interviews and our homestudy to begin our second adoption. Last week we went in for individual interviews with our caseworker. She asked a few questions that I have really been pondering over the last week. The one that I have spent the most time thinking about is "How has my life changed since becoming a mom?" How has my life NOT changed.



I went to my parents house that morning after our interview to help my sister and before we could leave I had to make sure that Roman had a nap. I realized that was a huge change. My life now revolves around nap time. Nap time is something sacred, not to be messed with. I never understood this before. When it was someone elses child (most especially my nieces) I would always tell my sister just to skip it, just once.



After Roman woke from his nap we went to run a few errands, as we got in the car there were a few obvious things that have changed. 1- we have a bigger car. I drove a Honda Civic until this past March when it was replaced by an SUV. So much more room for so much more stuff. Who knew that someone so small could need so many things that are so big.



2- There are so many things that are required to leave the house. You have the baby, the diaper bag, sippy cup, lovey (in our case this is Bob the giraffe, thankfully we have one that stays in the car), blanket if you are going to be gone over nap time, food, and of course car toys. Car toys are another thing that I never understood before. How is it that a child can have 100 toys at home, but need a whole other set of toys for in the car? You don't mess with the car toys. They are serious lifesavers! Especially when you are stuck in traffic. 3- carseats. I have become a huge fan of carseats, especially great carseats. I find myself admiring carseats in other cars (Is there something wrong with me?) I love to talk to people about carseats, and have given others advice on which carseats to buy.



Like the car toys there are three other sets of toys that again are completely separate and not to be messed with. The diaper bag toys (brought out only on outings when you are out of the car and don't need car toys), the tub toys (only to be used in the tub, or at least to be kept in the bathroom), and the outside toys. Who knew there were so many different kinds of toys you would NEED.



Then it comes to the kitchen. Our kitchen seemed pretty full before Roman was born, we lived in our house for about 6 years before he joined our family. It's funny now, I honestly can't remember what we had where we now keep the bottles, sippy cups, silverware, bowls, heck, we even have different food for him, all with it's own cupboard.



Next is my schedule. I used to be to work at the latest at 7:30 in the morning, my job was 30 minutes away, which meant I had to leave the house at the latest at 7:00, sometimes we were there as early as 6:00, that was hard! Why does it seem so much harder to get up at 6:00 now?

I used to work in the office 2-4 days a week and from home the other days. I am now a stay at home mom, but I don't seem to have anymore time, in fact sometimes it feels like I have less time and my house is messier (oh yeah, I have a few little hands to help with that).



So I know this was just a rambling but as I said I have been thinking about this a lot. . .so to answer the questions "How has my life changed since becoming a mom?" It has completely changed, and I wouldn't change it back for anything!