Ever have one of those nights?

Do you ever have one of those nights where you sit up wondering about EVERYTHING? Literally everything. Tonight is one of those nights for me.

I wonder how I am doing as a parent.
I wonder if I am doing everything I should, should he know his alphabet yet?
Do I teach him enough?
I wonder if I am letting him be independent enough.
I wonder if I am dependable enough.

I wonder how his Mommy Katie is. (worry about her is more like it, we love her so much and just want everything to be perfect for her!)
I wonder about our future birthmother(s).
I wonder if they are okay.
I wonder if they are already struggling with hard decisions in their life.

I wonder why some of us need to be tested to the point that we feel like we are going to break.
I wonder why one person's trial is a blessing for another.
I wonder how many lives that blessing truly blesses (I can't even begin to count how many lives Roman has blessed!).

Obviously I am not the only person who has had a night like this. I think of the song "Just a few Questions" by Clay Walker

How in this world can we put a man on the moon,
And still have a need for a place like St Jude's?
And why is one man born,
In a place where all they know is war?
And a guy like me,
Has always been free.

And how can two people who built a loving home,
Try for years and never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There's a baby no-one's holding tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don't add up.

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

And why did my cousin have to die in that crash?
A good kid, only seventeen, I still wonder about that.
It seems unfair to me,
Some get the chance to chase their dreams,
And some don't.
But what do I know?

I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

Why do I feel like you hear these prayers of mine.
When so many oughta be ahead of me in line?
When you look down on me,
Can you see the good through all the bad?
These just a few questions I have.