How has my life changed since becoming a mom?

We are just working on interviews and our homestudy to begin our second adoption. Last week we went in for individual interviews with our caseworker. She asked a few questions that I have really been pondering over the last week. The one that I have spent the most time thinking about is "How has my life changed since becoming a mom?" How has my life NOT changed.



I went to my parents house that morning after our interview to help my sister and before we could leave I had to make sure that Roman had a nap. I realized that was a huge change. My life now revolves around nap time. Nap time is something sacred, not to be messed with. I never understood this before. When it was someone elses child (most especially my nieces) I would always tell my sister just to skip it, just once.



After Roman woke from his nap we went to run a few errands, as we got in the car there were a few obvious things that have changed. 1- we have a bigger car. I drove a Honda Civic until this past March when it was replaced by an SUV. So much more room for so much more stuff. Who knew that someone so small could need so many things that are so big.



2- There are so many things that are required to leave the house. You have the baby, the diaper bag, sippy cup, lovey (in our case this is Bob the giraffe, thankfully we have one that stays in the car), blanket if you are going to be gone over nap time, food, and of course car toys. Car toys are another thing that I never understood before. How is it that a child can have 100 toys at home, but need a whole other set of toys for in the car? You don't mess with the car toys. They are serious lifesavers! Especially when you are stuck in traffic. 3- carseats. I have become a huge fan of carseats, especially great carseats. I find myself admiring carseats in other cars (Is there something wrong with me?) I love to talk to people about carseats, and have given others advice on which carseats to buy.



Like the car toys there are three other sets of toys that again are completely separate and not to be messed with. The diaper bag toys (brought out only on outings when you are out of the car and don't need car toys), the tub toys (only to be used in the tub, or at least to be kept in the bathroom), and the outside toys. Who knew there were so many different kinds of toys you would NEED.



Then it comes to the kitchen. Our kitchen seemed pretty full before Roman was born, we lived in our house for about 6 years before he joined our family. It's funny now, I honestly can't remember what we had where we now keep the bottles, sippy cups, silverware, bowls, heck, we even have different food for him, all with it's own cupboard.



Next is my schedule. I used to be to work at the latest at 7:30 in the morning, my job was 30 minutes away, which meant I had to leave the house at the latest at 7:00, sometimes we were there as early as 6:00, that was hard! Why does it seem so much harder to get up at 6:00 now?

I used to work in the office 2-4 days a week and from home the other days. I am now a stay at home mom, but I don't seem to have anymore time, in fact sometimes it feels like I have less time and my house is messier (oh yeah, I have a few little hands to help with that).



So I know this was just a rambling but as I said I have been thinking about this a lot. . .so to answer the questions "How has my life changed since becoming a mom?" It has completely changed, and I wouldn't change it back for anything!

I'm adopted too!

This weekend while we out of town for the FSA conference we stayed with Spencer's step-sister and her family. They have the cutest kids and it was so much fun to see them again! We saw them last summer when Roman was born, but hadn't seen them in over a year. Stephanie and Adam were married for about 8 years and went through all the heartache to begin their family and finally decided to adopt. They didn't wait long and their lives were blessed with a beautiful baby boy with striking blue eyes and a winning smile. Fast forward 5 years and he is a smart amazing little boy with 4 younger siblings (apparently Peter just needed to join the family before the others could come along, he is the best big brother! He was made for the role). He is such a great big brother, and so polite.

We got to their house late Saturday night so all the kids were already gone to bed before we got there. Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church Peter was sitting there playing with Roman as I fed him a banana and I told Peter that Roman was adopted too. It took him a minute and I saw him make the connection and his eyes just lit up. We talked about it for a few minutes and I told him that Roman was born there and we had come so that we could see his birthmom, he was just so excited.

Watching that light just brighten his eyes made my day but after that Peter just had a connection with Roman. He wanted to play with him all the time, he was always bringing him toys and was just his little guardian.

This morning as we were getting ready to come home we had to leave their house around 7:30 to make it to the airport in time. I was trying to hurry and get Roman fed and dressed and everything to the car. I kept asking Roman to finish his bottle and Peter asked "can he finish his bottle in the car so we can play for a few more minutes please?" How could I say no to that?

I hope that Roman can always have this bond with his cousin! They are such super special boys!

One year as a mother

Friday my little man turned one. I have spent a lot of time reflecting over the past year, two years, eight years, ten years. This year has been absolutely amazing. I still have time that I look at this sweet little boy and can't believe that I am his mother.



Ten years ago Spencer and I had been dating for almost a year and he was getting ready to leave on a mission. We had our whole lives ahead of us filled with so many dreams. We didn't know where our lives would take us, but we knew that we had strong feelings for each other and that we wanted to spend our lives together.

Eight years ago (next month actually) Spencer climbed off a plane in Salt Lake, tan, smiling, and ready to conquer the world. Thankfully our love had survived those 2 years and we were able to begin our life together.

Two years ago I wondered if Heavenly Father even remembered me. We had waited so long, and had endured so much, I just needed the reassurance that he was there, he knew me, and that he hadn't forgotten about our little family.

One year ago I was living in a hotel with a newborn little boy, spending as much time as we could (when we weren't sleeping) with his Mommy Katie. I felt so much and I still feel so much that I can't explain, and don't really understand completely. Having that sweet baby in my arms was such a blessing and it was terrifying. He was completely dependant on us for everything.

Over the past year he has grown so much. He has become so much more independent than I ever imagined. He will tell me no just because he can. He goes full speed and loves being around people. He gives the best hugs and kisses anyone could ever ask for. He is smart, and funny (and he knows it).

Thinking back over the past year the day that I think was the most special, more so than placement day, finalization, his birthday, was the day that we were sealed as a family. It was the perfect day. I think of us all dressed in white at the alter. We struggled for so long to decide who to have hold Roman and we finally asked Katie if she would hold him for the sealing. It made that day so much more meaningful.

This year has been filled with so many blessings, I am thankful that Heavenly Father remembered our family. He blessed us with the sweetest boy, the most amazing mommy Katie, and loving family and friends.

Placement

I recently read my blog and realized I never finished telling our adoption story. I decided as we are approaching Roman's first birthday that I should complete our story as we are preparing to begin our next adventure.

As I mentioned a few months ago, we were able to somehow (I know that we had heavenly help) make it before Roman was born. I forgot to mention, while I was in the room when Roman was born, Spencer had to wait in the waiting room. He was pacing the halls as much as he was waiting in the waiting room. Finally after about an hour Spencer was able to come into the room and see Roman for the first time.

It was after 11:00 pm when Spencer was finally able to see Roman. We left the hospital around midnight to go find our hotel. Thursday we were able to go see Katie and Roman in the hospital for about an hour, but we tried to let that be her day with him.

Because Roman was born so late (9:43 pm) the doctors said Katie would either be released Thursday night (late) or Friday morning. She chose Friday morning to give herself a little more time to heal, and a little more time with Roman.

Friday morning I felt so many emotions. I think time slowed down that morning. 10:00 felt like it was never going to get there. As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital Katie's caseworker, Jason, called us and asked if we would bring an outfit for Roman because he had already made a mess in the one Katie had for him. We met Jason in the hospital lobby to fill out foster care paperwork and to give him Roman's clothes. (The state Roman was born in requires 72 hours before a birthmother can relinquish parental rights, so until then we would be his foster parents.)

We waited while Jason went up to see Katie and to give her the clothes for Roman. We went in and took a few pictures then stepped out to give Katie a chance to feed Roman and just so that she was able to spend a few more minutes alone with him.


We all walked down to the lobby together Katie, Roman and I waited in the lobby while Spencer and Katie's mom went to get the cars. We walked out of the hospital together. Katie gave Roman another kiss, Katie and I hugged and I thanked her, then we followed each other to the freeway, they went one direction, we went the other.


We had official placement at the LDS Family Services office Sunday morning. We met at the agency. Katie was already there and had already signed her paperwork. We went in and signed paperwork then went into the conference room and visited with Katie and her mom. We sat and visited for about 30-45 minutes but felt bad that we were making them work on a Sunday so we left the agency and went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch.


I realized at that lunch that Katie would always be a part of our lives. She made me a mother, and for that I am eternally thankful. Roman made her a birthmother, and we hope that she will always be a huge part of his life as she is now!

Background - Growing up

I was the world's biggest geek growing up. Thick glasses, retainers and everything. I am glad that I didn't realize until I was older what a geek I was. I may have been scarred for life, now I just look back and laugh. Probably because I am still a geek and just don't realize it.

In a large family you always have instant friends, so I always had someone to play with. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother, and we have so much fun together. I am the second oldest, one older sister, me, then two sisters after me then little brother then one more sister. I would have to say that I talk to my sisters more than any other friends. Maybe it's because I truly am a geek and don't realize it, but I love talking to them. Who else can you call at 11:00 at night because your husband is still at work and you are scared?? (Thanks Warwa, love you!) They are some of my best friends.

I grew up in a pretty normal middle class life growing up. But really what is normal? Nothing truly extraordinary or catastrophic. We have lots of silly stories to tell and as I think of some I'll have to share. With 5 girls in one house there was a lot of silliness. My poor brother didn't have a fighting chance, he was so picked on. Even now he fears his sisters. (I think that's probably wise with all the tormenting he endured.)

I think we were all a challenge for my parents in different ways. My older sister never really pushed the boundaries and I tried as hard as I could to stretch them as far as possible without getting in too much trouble. I loved collecting friends in High School, my mom would always comment that I didn't really fit into a group. I brought a few friends in from each group, which made for some rather interesting parties. I guess I didn't realize that you were supposed to pick a group a stick to it. There were so many great people in all of them, how could I choose just one? I was always looking out for the underdog, because I had always been somewhat of an underdog, I knew how it felt, and didn't want anyone to feel left out. That is how I made a few of my best friends.

The summer between 6th and 7th grade a new family moved into our neighborhood. They had three daughters and a son. The oldest was my age. The first time we met she told us that they had moved something like 10 times so far in her life. To me this was unfathomable. I had lived in the same house since I was about 3 months old. She was very reserved, and didn't like to make friends because they wouldn't be there for long, they never were. All summer I tried so hard to become her friend. By the end of the summer we were inseparable. We would ride the same bus to and from school, after school we would get off the bus, and pretty much spend the rest of the afternoon together. I think she was my first "Best Friend." Every weekend we would have sleepovers and it was so nice to have someone you could be silly with, talk about guys with, and share your deepest darkest secrets.

They lived there a little longer than most places. They stayed all through Jr High then the summer between 9th and 10th grade they moved to California. I was so sad I thought I would never have a friend like her. Through the years we have kept in touch, I don't think it will ever be the same, but hope that we will be friends forever.






























After High School I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had taken a dental assisting class my Senior year of High School and I was working in a dental office, and was happy with that. The week that classes started at the community college I decided that I wanted to go to school. I had enjoyed working in dental field, so I decided to go into dental hygiene. After taking 3 semesters of classes, I found out that the wait to get into the hygiene program was about 2 years. When I learned this I became very discouraged. I took a semester off and decided that I wanted to go to school for cosmetology instead. I found a cosmetology school in the area (International Institute of Hair Design) and started going to classes in the evenings. I was still working at the dental office during the day. I had been moved to front office (receptionist type position) when the two front office women just didn't come back to work after our Christmas break.