Expectant Mother

One year ago today I became an expectant mother. I didn't see a positive pregnancy test, I didn't have a doctor congratulate me.

I woke up early, there was really no reason, I just couldn't sleep.

It was 6:00 in the morning and I immediately checked my e-mail.

I did a triple check when it said "You have an e-card from Katie"

I was shaking and hurried to open the card.

Of course it felt like forever that the screen said loading, then this sweet music started to play and I saw little umbrella's as parachutes with gifts attached showering down the screen.
Words started to Appear

"Heard you have a bundle of Love on the way!"

My heart skipped a beat.

Another screen appeared that said "Congratulations" and told us that we were to be parents.


I read the card at least 10 times before I couldn't contain my joy any longer.

It was a Saturday and I knew that Spencer would sleep until noon if I didn't wake him.

I grabbed the laptop and ran up to our room.

Again shaking I opened the computer, woke him up, and showed him the card.

I said it before but my life has changed so much this year.

Because of a beautiful Mommy Katie, our lives are forever improved!

We love you Katie!

Adoption Advocacy

Today Roman and I were able to go to the High School that Spencer and I graduated from to do some presentations representing the Utah Adoption Council. We were only supposed to present for a morning class, and I was so nervous to go, what if I didn't say the right things? What if our message wasn't received well? What if I draw a blank? And most importantly, what if I am not able to make a different at all? I can't say that I made a difference, but I know that I said the things that I needed to say. I prayed on my way that even if I would be able to say the right things, and that I would be able to present the message that these students needed to hear. They have a birthmother present as well, so she can tell her side of the story. The birthmother, Myra, was amazing. She had such a great story to share, and it really helped me to settle into what I needed to say.

As we were almost finished the teacher asked Myra and I if we could stay for a few minutes to talk to a student that she had that was newly pregnant and hasn't decided what to do yet, she hadn't even told her parents yet. I was more than happy to talk to her. Myra agreed. We spent 30-45 minutes talking to her and her friend (who was also pregnant) about adoption. She had a lot of questions, and it was calming for her to hear answers in a less threatening envirnment. Myra talked to her about talking to her parents, going to birthmother group, and nfinding support. After these girls left Myra said "She doesn't want to be a mom, she is scared and her mom did it and her grandma did it so she feels trapped." Myra offered to go to group with her (and her friend) at the local agency and I hope that she takes her up on it. It felt so good to know that we had touched someone.

As I mentioned I had only planned to do the morning presentation. I was about 30 minutes away when Myra sent me a text message that the afternoon presenter had not come and she didn't have any information. So Roman and I ran back out to the car, and went back for a second session. I was there with only 45 minutes remaining. I was out of breath and not prepared but again said a prayer and calmed right into it. Myra helped with Roman because he was going with no nap which is bad news. Thankfully he was an angel until we were on our way home. About half way through the presentation, I realized there was an obviously pregnant girl sitting in the front row who was taking notes on what we were saying. I found myself addressing a lot of what I said directly to her. She was making eye contact most of the time, and I could tell that she was obviously interested. I had hoped that she would stop and talk to us after class, but was one of the first to leave. The second presentation was so great, there were so many questions, they were a great class.

I had planned to show a montage that we made for Katie at the end of our presentation, but it wouldn't work the first time. I really think it was because it wasn't right. I was able to show it in the afternoon and I have been meaning to post it here for a while. Anyway, here is our video for Katie!

For some reason the montage would not work here, so I have put a very small version of it in the side bar! Hope you can see it.

'Open' adoptions good for kids

Whenever I hear a news teaser about adoption stories I am always interested. I just have to say Thank you to NBC. Today they did a very short story about adoption. I love hearing positive stories about adoption. As soon as I saw this story I immediately went to their website to see if I could find it to post. Not only did they have the story, but also three links about adoption. Thank you NBC for your positive view and for helping families like ours to grow and help explain adoption.



The first link that was posted was for the American Academy of Family Physicians. It answers Frequently asked questions about adoption.

The second link was to the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute. This site has some great articles about adoption.

The third link was to the Spence-Chapin Services. This is an adoption agency that does domestic and international adoptions with a great article on open adoptions. It explains it so well!

One year ago today. . .

One year ago today I received an e-mail that changed our lives forever. I have been very reflective this week thinking about all that has happened this year. How our lives have changed. One year ago today I had no idea that at the same time one year later I would be wrestling with a rambunctious 8 month old. I didn't know that I would be a stay at home mom, and I definitely didn't know that I would be writing all of this. Before Roman was born I was SO reserved, I would even say embarrassed by everything. I never spoke of the problems that we had, I went so far as going along with comments that were made along the lines that we were never having children, because deep down I was afraid that we may not.

If you had told me that I would have a blog where I wrote about all our struggles to start a family I would have laughed. I am still a little uncomfortable putting everything we have gone through out there for anyone to see, but realize that it is because so many people are uncomfortable talking about infertility and miscarriages that I didn't know what to expect.

One year doesn't seem like very long, and an eternity all at the same time.

One year in the grand scheme of things is not very long.

But One year has changed my life for eternity!