I am so lucky.

Today on Birthmother's Day, I feel so much gratitude. I am feeling so lucky to be Roman's birth mom. He is truly an amazing little boy. I also feel lucky (or should I say blessed!) to have Wendy and Spencer, who have been so good to me and are truly friends for life. Really, friends for eternity. I could not have wished better parents for Roman or a better support for me. Also I feel so blessed that I was given this incredible experience. Of course it has changed my life so much and I would never go back and change it. Never.

Today I shared some of my adoption experience at a training for LDS Family Services adoptive couples, most of which have not been placed yet. I never exactly love talking about very personal emotions and experiences, and sometimes wonder if I'm articulating my feelings well enough. But I share because my experience has been so overwhelmingly positive. I wanted them to know that they don't need to be afraid of having a very open relationship with their birth moms, and also that the birth moms can be just as blessed by the experience as they are. I believe those are important things to convey.

How did I gain so much from this? I am often at a loss for words to explain just how and why bringing this amazing boy into the world had just a profound impact on me. I scoff at the idea that I am somehow damaged by the experience, and that Wendy and Spencer have benefitted at my expense. This could not be further from the truth. But there are still many misconceptions about adoption. What I want the world to know is that I consider this the greatest thing I have done in my life, and I thank Heavenly Father for giving me the opportunity.

Today at the training, we talked some about adoptive parents who go back on their word about the level of openness and even cut off contact with the birth mother after everything is final. It is rare, but it happens. It caused me to reflect on the relationship I have with Wendy and how grateful I am that she has gone above and beyond in keeping me a part of Roman's life. There is an intense amount of trust in an adoption. First they trusted me when I promised them they would become parents; now I trust them that they will keep me part of their lives. That kind of trust is hard to find in this world.

So yes- today I feel overwhelmed with happiness, gratitude, and peace. I am one lucky girl.